The Reply

The explosive torrent of resistance to the thing that just happened in front of my very eyes that couldn't have actually happened, could it? That isn't what I saw, is it?

The over whelming undercurrent facade of self protection taking over implicitly so you can survive the next ten minutes long enough to catch your breath and maybe be able to think after that - long enough - to make the next move or return a phone call or make a decision.

Your vision is blurry and the world is moving past you like a bullet train and you can not find your ground. If I could only plug in long enough to find my coordinates, I could make it to the next step.

And you can not breathe or find discernment.

You are un-find-able. There are no GPS coordinates that give you a sense of where you are or where you belong or who will meet you, because without coordinates nobody else knows where to find you either.

And suddenly the silence is deafening. You are alone and there is nothing from the past that gives you an anchor or a handle to hold on to until your vision improves and you can breath again.

You are completely alone, ill-equipped and fundamentally terrified that this is the way it is going to be.

Of course it isn't but it feels real - like a destiny that you agree to sometime but don't remember and is somehow irreversible. Adn you know you simply must accept that.