How does it feel?

I'll tell you.

Shock.....
When it goes through your system it can be hot and cold at the same time.
Like the inside of you is chilled to the bone and the outside is sweating to get out.

You can feel the outline of every nerve in your neck, lungs and stomach
without the ability to control the intensity.

You feel like you are on the precipice of insanity, flying, falling, panic and liberation all at the same time.

Each direction you look is beyond decision, beyond understanding, beyond  knowing
and beyond choosing.

The tears flow in an inconsistent wave of anger, misunderstanding, desperation,
frailty, pain and confusion.
The memory unlocks.
It tries to repeat itself....so it can stay.
Don't let it.

You desperately need to reach out but are locked in the inability to do so.
The experience is beyond words.
The brain tries to understand what is happening to the soul and body.
The body tries to understand what is happening to the soul and the mind.
The soul tries to listen for G-d to speak in metaphors of wisdom and clues.
Giving direction.
And silence is the only sound.
Silence.
Silence of the experience.
Silence, trying to recall the memory that is buried deep in the unconscious.
Buried so deep.
Yet, surfacing to speak.
Rising to be released.
Without grace.
And why is there no grace in the release? Why is the release so violent?
So dramatic?
Why can't the human psyche bear to see and accept, bear to surface and release,
bear to beg for mercy, bear to thank for grace?
Bear to merge with infinity?

We are separate, from the moment we emerge.
Always trying to return to that feeling of wholeness within the connection.
From which we are ripped apart as we travel through the valley.
The Valley of the Shadow of Death.
The Valley that brings us to Life.

Every muscle, nerve and sinew knows.
Every atom, electron and proton knows.
Every particle and fiber of our being knows.
Why then, it is so hard for us to know, to understand and accept, what we have experienced?
What we endured?

Shock is our bodies way of accepting more than we can process at the time.
What we have experienced, what we have learned and what we are allowing to bid farewell.
It holds itself within.
Until the time we invite it to depart.

Or stay buried until a memory or sound unlocks its ravages.
Some leave with kindness.
The one I describe today must have really enjoyed the home I shared within every particle of myself.

I cannot thank you because you caused me discomfort, struggle and pain.
You arrived by mistake.
You leave by my strength.
Light cannot exist where darkness hides.

How do I feel?
Ask me when I get to the other side.
For today, I am only the vessel of the experience.

4 U

Do you have glass in your heart?

Glass cuts.
It is invisible.
It allows you to guard against everyone
    and everything from getting in.

See through it.

A glass window is perfect for a house.
Not for a heart.

In a heart,
Glass cuts and
You Bleed.

Take the glass out.
Remove it from your heart.
And replace the glass,
With trust.

Trust your actions.
Remain true to your self.
Trust in that and that alone.

Trust is....
A Crown of Honor....

4 U 2 wear.
Not
4 U 2 tear anyone or anything up any longer.

Now
And
Forever.........

What are you protecting in your heart?
Because whatever you are protecting, prevents you from moving forward.
From moving on......to the next place.
The next space.
Your Next.
My Next.

I get so disappointed in myself sometimes.
And in the limits of others.
It affects my ability to connect.
Which in turn limits building something real and eternal.

Glass is invisible,
It protects me.
Glass is my safety net.

When I am disappointed in others, glass protects me.
And keeps me from being cut to pieces, bleeding to death.


But it also prevents me from ever getting too close,
from seeing eye to eye.

So how do I protect and prevent myself against this
inevitability while remaining vulnerable to life and love?

How do I protect against being disappointed,
In the limits and failure of others?

How do I allow myself to be vulnerable and remain wise at the same time?

Reframe it.

Instead of looking through the glass.
Look within yourself.

What limits me/you from feeling safe and trusting.
Is the same thing that limits others from getting too close.
And the only real trust there is, is the trust that you have in yourself.
The trust to make the right choices.
To remain true to yourself.

At all costs.
In all choices.
All the time.

-The End-

G-d is Everything.

G-d is my strength and my Hope.
My teacher adn my student
My love and my light.
My kindness and my mercy.
My light and my darkness.
My kindness and severity.
Ny yin and my yang.
My floor and my roof.
My front and my back.
My right and my left.
My friend and my foe.
My giving and receiving.
My excess and lack.
My lesson and teaching.
There is nothing that is not G-d in me.
My husband and my father.
My sister and my mother.
My aunt and my uncle.
My family and stranger.
All that I am comes from G-d.
Always and forever.
For this is all we can depend.
And our mission is remaining aware of that in everything we
think, say and do.
In Chochma, Binah and Daat.
Until Moshiach is revealed and we are
reunited in the World To Come.
Which no one knows when that will be.
It depends on the actions of Man.

Crossroads

I am at the crossroad between happy and sad.
Progress and Antiquity.
Success and Failure.
Believing and Forgetting
Achieving or Not.


I know in my heart that what I want is on its way to me.
I seem to confuse manifestation with other thoughts.
Thoughts of how much, when, how and such nonsense.

I know those don't matter.
All that mattrs is getting that vision of accomplishment in my sweet spot
and having a burning desire for its achievement.
Taste it.
It is here.
Already.

Ok. it'no different than the game I play for finding a penny or
always landing the perfect parking place.

This vision is wider....but no different.
My vision is not perfectly clear, yet.

But I know how I want to feel when I have it.
Excited. Grateful, In Love, Successfully Financed, Healthy, Lovely, Connected,Balanced, Fulfilled
With Enormous Cash Flow and able to live a Life Fulfilled as
Mother, Wife, Grandparent, Mashpia, Mentor, Friend, Daughter, Sister.
In place for the time being. With the One I love, but not Alone.

With family, friends, in sand and snow,
in city and country,
in health and blessings,
from this day forth.
Thank you, HaShem.

Help me get it lined up so that I may be blessed to make it happen ASAP.

A Kiss

What is:
Quieter than solitude?
Softer than silk?
Sweeter than honey?
Funnier than laughter?
Wetter than water?
Simpler than 1, 2, 3?

Between Two Faces

Me & Michio 7/09/ NY

 Two faces
Remain in my memory
Years between them.
One came through me.
The older came to me.
Both taught me something important.
Both learned something valuable, too.
Just from the triangle of our connection.

My E... from his Pitt News Days. Pgh, Pa 7/03

Me See

 Let me See if I can explain this......

Today I gave birth. It was a two year gestation. It is perfect, like a newborn is perfect.
 Still it requires love, food, light and guidance to grow into its potential.

Besherets App is not perfect but it has the potential of perfection.

It was created in love between two friend's imagination.

The chief aim is to help one Besheret at a time to find each other and bring that discovery to the chuppah to procreate bringing G-d's blessings to this earth and keep the flame of Jewish light
alive and more than just alive, but to Thrive and lead the way to the Promised Land*.

*The Promised Land is a physical place, but is also a metaphorical, spiritual, emotional place and  state of grace place, too.

It is localized in every country in the world.

Good luck.
Good fortune.

$100,000.00 K in 30 days. YES!!!!!