Two heads

Friends are our Family by choice

Friends are our family-by-choice.

I am thankful, for each one is a world to me. This past year I especially thank Ms. Priddy who helped me connect my childhood me to my adult me with laughter and generosity beyond measure. 

Or, Babs, my raising our kids together days who, despite a full plate of her own , was there to encourage me through my challenge. 

Or Joan, Wanda, Ella or MB in Florida who saw me at my worse and made the deepest friendship endure.

Or, my Pittsburgh Posse whom I love and hold dear (yes Dee you're in that group).

Whether old friends or new, good times or not, Bakersfield to Boston, 

a lifetime or a moment in time, if not for friends, life would be a blank slate. Thank you to each and every friend. I am a better I because you touched my life with you.

#100 Thanks!

Full Moon

    What can we learn from the cycle of the moon, how she ever waxes and wanes 
        and waxes again?
    That a time of smallness is a time to become great;
    And a time of greatness is a time to become small.
    For in smallness lies the power to receive
    and in receiving lies the power to become great.
    And greatness endures only through its power to be small.

The long straight road

It's a straight path on a long road to your destination. Get started today.

7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Each Day

7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself    

             Each Day

By: The Huffington Post 

1.  What did I learn today?

2.  How do I feel? 

3.  How did I make others feel?

4.  What can I do better tomorrow? 

5.  What am I grateful for?

6.  How much stress I experience? 

7.  What made me smile?

New love

                                    BH'

To love like G-d

To serve like G-d.

And remain human.

               

Dear Rebbe,

My letter to G-d through mankind.

My husband fell in love this past weekend, granted 

it's with my 5year-old twin nephew and their older 10 year-old brother.

We love each other deeply.

Now, my dear friend has moved.

Where does that leave me?

Alone and in between.

I certainly do not like the way she talks  to me. She is tough. But that is what a real friend is. 

It matters not that I have been devoted to her in her time of need. That's what a friend is.

Dear G-d,

Help and answer me on this today today.

Help me understand what is really going on with the peculiar behavior in families. Please see that our troubles reflect a disconnect somewhere.

Bills to pay, places to move, possessions to give away, supplies needed for other projects.

Where to live? Near whom?

My son could use the family in Pittsburgh nearby, my mom could use me in Dallas, my nephews in Sonoma would love us being closer. 

What about me. 

Why is my husband so randomly happy around me?

When he's near his friends, he can access happiness?

Oddly, I hope when he came to the same place he would choose differently.

Sara Yocheved Ringler said my husband could easily be a gilgul from a past life. What does that mean? Simply put a past life experience brought forward for me to heal and release.  and I had to stay with him now to work through what our experience in a past life was. 

He was a Jewish woman in the concentration camps. I was a German officer. Makes sense?

But G-d what exactly is my job here? 

I have been praying over this for years. I am at my wits end, I do not know what to do, say, where to stay or be with be of these other concerns.

I realize I am asking a lot to write this. Yes , I am.

Now what? When ? Who? How? Why? Where?

I must have some message upon my heart to know that 

G- d hears my concern.

Swift I must be.

I am Nanny, that is me.

He called me Nanny.

Please,  help me. Quickly can it be?

Please!!!

With Eternal gratitude,

Brocha Bat Devorah Rita

June 8,  2015

Wednesday

Moving On.....

1936 Cairo, Egypt

Moving.

Moving on.

Moving forward.

Move indicates change for the good.

Whether moving houses, counties, cities, states or countries.

Moving on signifies a change for the better. This does not mean it's easy.

But arriving at "moving on" symbolizes arriving at a decision and that is significant.

Because making a decision allows the move forward. Maybe with tears.

Perhaps smiles. Always with recall of

the process of progress.  

Progress rather than Perfection.

That's the yellow brick road.

Progress is MOVING ON & FORWARD.

Bakersfield, California 2015

Centuries of moving.......forward.

Blessings of a Yom Tov

February 2, 2015

Dear G-d. Please show me how to be fresh and new! I don’t want to waste the special chance I have to draw in the special feelings of renewal that flow through every Jewish holiday. Help me serve you on a completely different level. Please give me a beautiful etrog—a sensitive and open heart! Ignite my feeling heart with the flame of longing for you. Let my soul sing to you a song of yearning until I am totally transformed and renewed. Thank you.

Consider the journey

One generation to another.

The torch is passed.

Born in Spain. Move to Cairo. Then to Dallas.

Another born in Texas. Move from Wichita Falls to Dallas.

What is the likelihood of crossing paths.

That is the power of Besheret, Soul Mates.

Thirty days before we descend to earth a heavenly angel calls out in heaven the name of our soul mate.

Then we are born.

At the moment of birth the angel taps us above our lip, and we forget everything.

We are born, grow up and either do or do not find our soul mate.

If yes, what if it doesn't work?

If not, how do we bear the years of loneliness?

If born in different countries, how do we understand each others language if they are different? 

And if we are blessed to find another partner, is that really what G-d intends for us?

This picture is my dear friend, former mother-in-law when she was a small child. She is on the far left. Her brother is in the middle. A friend is on the right.

The photo is taken in 1932.

Consider the journey.

What more is expected of me ?

Scrutiny

Am One

Between

Within

I give and give and give each day.

Always someone is not pleased.

Or, threatened it seems.

Or, too competitive in the wrong way.

I do not understand.

I am human.

I reach my limit. When I do I am judged. Not for how much I have grown and stretched beyond myself to exceed my own expectations and limits.

But, rather by what I say or do or think in my moment of exasperation.

I try so very hard. 

What more is expected of me?

I cannot be bought.

I do not feel safe 

Or love.

Born into this, I try to uproot the dysfunction, but cannot escape for long.

Thoughts get uprooted, changed and progress is made.

Then, a single negative encounter set the glitches back like that.

It's often the mother lode.

No fault.

Just faulty programming.

My computer brain needs an upgrade.

Marc Chagall & Nicole Lidji

They speak the same language.

She translates his French tongue into English for the people on the Museum tour.

I am so jazzed to find this picture of my dear friend and former mother-in-law

and my sons grandmother.

Marc Chagall was one of the happier artists. Others seem to carry depression and defeat.

I feel like I have the privledge of her access.

Cool, right?

Sometimes a blessing just happens

More today than yesterday

love you more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow?

I 

Happiness is being married to your best friend. Love. Love. Love.

Hot Sulphur Springs, Colorado

It's  important to share the bounty of G-d's great earth. I wanted to go to the Sulphur Springs for a couple of reasons .

Mostly because I wanted to see how they chose to run it in a functional inviting setting. My companion was hard pressed to go because she has such a splendid 

home, what else is needed. Still I like checking out hot springs and it is a wonderful way to see the country.

Still, each site is someone based on Ute Indians in this case and others in the area are lacking in updated renovation or safety,

But these Hot Springs was a pure delight. Lots of private 1-2 person baths, clean, quiet and so friendly.

I didn't insist on a tour but I did make an effort to check out the site for future visits and with pleasure eft only to return,

for longer.

This is in the heart of gold country, so don't  be surprised if a nugget grabs your attention.

Nature is Miraculous.

How to stay married

How to stay married when not?

Or, why I keep hanging on when I do not get very much anymore.

Or, how to continue when it's the same mistakes over and over again.

When the marriage is complete it either transforms to a peaceful 

calm endtity. But after 30 years if the same problem and same mistakes and same language is just more pronounced or the sameness is what stifles it, how do you decide when to say enough?

Especially if you did not love him so much you would not still be doing the same thing today as you did 20 years ago.

But I do love him. Perhaps don't love how he talks to me or makes decisions or bad choices for me.

At what point can I say it's not for me but I can try harder and harder and improve even more.

Our Corner of the Workd

When you're on a mission and you live your life in Service to G-d Almighty what appears as nothing to someone else might be a different dialogue to you.

Yesterday I came out of the grocery store.

A tall Black man in a bright orange sweatshirt was carrying an almost empty small sports "duffel" briefcase bag.

I'm sure the people coming and going to and from the store thought me a 

"sucker" to fall for this mans 

story of woe. 

Perhaps I am.

But when I saw the look in his eyes, he appeared humiliated and struggling.

I thought, what G-d puts on my screen, in my field of vision or part of my Daled Amos (my 4-cubit space of the world I am responsible for), I thought differently.

I listened to his plight. He was on unemployment, his check had not arrived, he did not want to sleep in the shelter, rather he wanted money to rent a $47.00 hotel room. He had $20 and needed help getting the remainder.

"There but the Grace of G-d go I."

My husband was also off work a couple weeks ago.  He was working at the Bakersfield Californian when the executive editor announced the bottom line in January was off and they were forced to let the last hired be the first fired or "laid off". 

I asked the man in orange to give me a minute to see what I could do. I felt G-d's presence instructed me to help him.

I am never allowed to offer a ride. 

So I returned with some cash for his hotel room. Rather than take him there, I added five extra bucks to get a bus pass.

 Granted I am not exactly in cash excess at the moment, but I am in emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust) excess so I decided to help.

I figured if G-d needed me to help this man, then I certainly had nothing to worry about for myself.

I hoped after I gave him the cash he would offer a word of blessing in return, usually that is payment enough for me.

When he saw that I gave him the cash he needed, I saw him emerge from a deep dark state of disbelief.

So I asked him for a blessing in return.

He asked my name.

Brocha, I answered.

It took hearing Brocha a couple times to get it. 

Once he figured that he heard correctly,

he said, "G-d's Blessings to you Brocha".

I fought off wondering if others nearby thought me a fool.

And I told myself that, at the worse, how good could he be doing if he was forced to stand outside the grocery store to beg.

So whether I'm right (which I am) or not, I choose connection. Connection to help. Connection to make safe choices in a safe time, space and place. 

That's taking care of what's on my screen and my corner of the world.

Frozen Purim Silence

"Their silence shall be interpreted as we approach them"From a poem by the same name Silence by Edgar Lee Masters

Departing Sabbath Queen

Havdalah lites the candle honoring Melava Malka,the departing Sabbath Queen.